Well after not really trying to lose weight, I’m at 185 lbs. this morning – the same weight I was at my physical earlier in the year. Time to take a look at my goals and refocus my efforts after a 3 month mental break.

Well since August I’ve struggled with my push to drop my last 30 pounds. My tracking is spotty at best. Weighing and measuring food? Almost non-existent. How about counting carbs? I keep a mental record, but if I’m not measuring my serving sizes or tracking what I eat, how good can my carb counting be, right?

Yet, I feel fine…and a little guilty.

Time To Re-Think My Goals
As of this morning I weigh 185 lbs. So I’ve lost 4 lbs. since my doctor told me I was healthy and didn’t have to drop anymore pounds.

Now, I don’t believe for a second that my body is at its set point. I think I mentally started coasting once my doctor told me I was healthy and didn’t need to lose any more. After all, I started this adventure in 2012 to get healthy. The weight loss was a great side effect.

But that got me thinking: Do I need to reconsider my goal?

When I shifted my thinking from weight loss to getting healthy, the weight came off. Yes, I track my weight loss on this blog, but the overall goal was health.

Well, I’ve done that. Now what? After my physical, I never asked myself what’s next. I just thought “happiness” is my new goal. Crap!  What does that even mean? I just thought I can drop 30 more pounds and be happier. Why 30? I have no clue.

My doctor told me that if I lose any more weight it’s just for vanity.  Double crap!  But is losing vanity pounds a “bad goal” to set for myself after a more “noble” goal of getting healthy?

I don’t believe goals are noble or bad. But a goal has to inspire me to do the hard work.  The nonspecific happiness goal just ain’t doing it for me. What a shocker!

I need to do some serious rethinking about these last 30 pounds…and if I really need to drop 30 pounds.

Why is success this frickin’ taxing? UGH!!!!

Time To Wipe The Slate Clean
With all the things I’ve juggled the last few months — packing and moving mom to Virginia (including her living with us for a month!), a lot of travel, starting the IVF process, major house problems (don’t even ask), and dealing with sick pets — something had to give. Unfortunately it was a few good eating habits.

My stress eating came back with abandon. Thankfully, I didn’t reach for chips or popcorn. I ate more macadamia nuts, larger cuts of steak, indulged in more eggs, and added butter to nearly everything.  I went for the right foods, but ate too much of them (yes, despite what some low carb forums claim, you can overeat LCHF foods).

While I’ve done a good job maintaining my weight (never gaining more than 2 lbs.), I need get my head back into the game for the last push.

I’m not angry with myself and I’m not going to beat myself up. I’ve done that before and all it does is get me further away from my goals. Nope. Instead I’m wiping the slate clean.

I took a break. I’m juggling a lot of stuff, but I still ate healthy foods and maintained my weight. I never felt out of control. I knew what I was doing and was mindful of what I ate.  That’s success!

But, with the holidays coming up, I need to refocus my efforts to lose the final pounds. So this morning I weighed my strip steak (3.7 ounces) and measured out a teaspoon of heavy cream for my coffee.  I opened My Fitness Pal and logged my breakfast: strip steak, 2 over easy eggs, 1 tsp. of heavy cream and 1 tbsp. of butter.

As for all my stress, 2 to 5 mile hikes are now part of my morning ritual. I’d rather take my frustrations — imagined or real — out on my feet rather than turning to food.

I know exercise has nothing to do with losing weight. But I think there is something to be said about the mental boost it gives you. When I workout, I eat better. If I’m active, I track and measure my food. When I exercise I’m more mindful of what I cook. Most importantly, when I’m doing something I like, I feel better emotionally. It gives me the boost to take on the rest of the day.

I don’t think it is a coincidence that once my workout routine stopped my life quickly became topsy-turvy. I think being active makes me more focused. Maybe exercise offers an uninterrupted time to subconsciously think through problems.

I just don’t think we’re built to sit in cubes or in front of a device (phone, tablet, computer, TV) for hours on end. Movement seems to make us stronger and maybe a bit smarter.

Whatever, I do miss my workouts.

Baby Stepping It
I know that I’m not going to be perfect. I’ll miss tracking a meal or will be in such a rush to get over to mom’s new place I’ll skip my morning walk.  That’s OK. I’m building towards consistency. I don’t care about perfection.

Taking that first step is so important in getting my groove back. If I worry about perfection, I’ll never reach my new ultimate goal (whatever that may be).