Do You Feel Safe Being Fat?

About 75% of my shirts in my closet are too big for me. Time to purge as I'm never going back to size 24 again!

About 75% of my shirts in my closet are too big for me. Time to purge as I’m never going back to size 24 again!

Yesterday, after an incident involving sweat pants, I took stock of my closet and discovered that more than half of my clothes don’t fit. For some reason, I’m still keeping my fat clothes.

Wardrobe Malfunction
So what happened to make me take a hard look at my closet?

Tuesday it was freezing so I tossed on a pair of sweats over my biker shorts before heading to the gym. While walking to my car, I noticed the sweats were starting to slip.  “A little loose,” I thought and simply pulled them up and continued walking.

By the time I got to the car they fell down past my butt. Thank god for the biker shorts!

How embarrassing…yet awesome.

Closet Full Of Fat Clothes
After my workout, I went straight to my closet. Most of the clothes, including those sweats, are size 24. I’m now an 18 and on my way to size 16.

I’m sure part of the reason I kept the clothes is financial – it’s just too expensive to keep replacing my entire wardrobe every 4-6 months.  I’ve thought about going to a tailor, but by the time I get to that point, the clothes are so worn, it’s not worth it (note to self — learn to sew in 2014).

But I was quick to get rid of all of my size 28 clothes (except 1 pair of jeans I keep to remind myself how far I’ve come).

Most of my 24s look pretty ragged and faded. Why would I keep those?

It can’t all be about costs.

Fat Doesn’t Mean Safe
For most of my adult life I was a size 24. It wasn’t until 5 years ago that I started wearing 28s. Maybe a part of me views size 24 as familiar (a.k.a., “safe”) and I kept those clothes just in case…

That scares me.

There’s a reason why my blog’s tag is “My world’s expanding while my butt is shrinking.”

When I weighed 325, I never tried sushi, weight lifting, a Color Run, shopping at Old Navy, or run a 5K. Heck, I never told anyone I weighed 325!

So what was my life like 87 pounds ago?

I settled for a daily 2-hour commute to and from a job that at times sucked the life out of me. Exhausted mentally and physically, I spent my evenings on a couch with a glass of wine (or two) in one hand and a remote in the other, flipping through channels from one bad show to the next.

Being fat meant I didn’t have to try, take risks or worry about being vulnerable. I felt…safe.

What a crock! I wasn’t safe. I stopped living.

Ugh! I’m not going back. I can’t. I never want fat to feel “safe.”

My sights are firmly set on getting below 200 pounds by Easter 2014.  A very doable short-term goal on my march to 140 pounds.

Time to thin out that closet.


Don’t Fear The Powder Eyeliner

My first attempt at powder eyeliner. It was fairly easy applying it to my upper eyelid. My lower lid is another story.

My first attempt at powder eyeliner. It was fairly easy applying it to my upper eyelid. My lower lid is another story.

After finally getting the hang of pencil eyeliner last week, I decided it was time to give powder a try. Armed with the Laura Mercier Color Wardrobe, an angled brush I picked up at Sephora, and a few of Q-Tips, I was ready to do battle.

Actually, it was more tussle than battle.

On my first attempt, I pretty much nailed my upper eyelids perfectly.  I simply wet my brush, dipped it in the powder and pressed the brush into my eyelashes. Pretty simple and sadly, anti-climactic.

After last week’s challenge with using the pencil liner, I was expecting more of a challenge.

Why was I so afraid? This was easy.

I only messed up the outside corner of my upper eyelid. There is a reason you use an  angled brush! But I was able to fix it right up with a trusty Q-tip.

Then it was time to do the lower lid.

It looks OK in the photo above, but in person it was a hot mess.

First I applied way too much pressure. The brush’s bristles felt like pins. My eye started tearing, causing the powder I applied to run.

Drunken raccoon, here I come.

Did a few tears and eye pain stop me?  Nope. I continued across my eye. But my hand became more jumpy out of fear of pressing too hard again. The result was a very jagged line under my eye.  No amount of smudging could salvage what I did.

Feeling a bid defeated, I sucked it up, wiped away the eyeliner and went back for round two. Starting with my lower lid, I relaxed my hand and gently pressed on my eyelash line.

No pain.

My second try at applying powdered eyeliner. Once I relaxed my hand and stopped pressing the blasted brush into my eye, things got much easier!

My second try at applying powdered eyeliner. Once I relaxed my hand and stopped pressing the blasted brush into my eye, things got much easier!

I followed my lash line, applying the powder to only the outer 1/3 of the lashes.  Gone were the jagged lines and the drunken raccoon. Just a few strokes with the Q-tip and I was staring at one smooth line. Sweet!

Do I still think eyeliner is the devil?  No.

I’m a little excited about playing with different colors and trying more dramatic looks down the road. For now, I’m just happy I didn’t poke my eye out.


Testing Weight Watcher’s Simple Start Over The Holidays

Simple Start

Weight Watchers just rolled out its new Simple Start program. I’m giving it a spin for the next two weeks.

I’m convinced that eating healthy on the road is possible. It just takes a bit of effort and planning. To help me out, I decided to give Weight Watcher’s new Simple Start program a try over the holidays.

It’s a 2-week starter plan where you choose from a list of meals and snacks suggested by Weight Watchers. The meals focus on power foods – vegetables, veggies, and lean meats.  Power foods fill you up faster and help you stay full over time. So the program doesn’t focus too much on tracking or portions (except for healthy oils and the indulgence foods that made the list).

Minor Concerns With Simple Start
As for portions, the program is geared towards a 10-inch plate, 12-oz bowl and a 12-oz glass. These are your guides and not the standard measuring.

Hmmmm…that’s nice, but I’m going to stick to measuring. It’s a good habit I got into and I don’t want to break it after two weeks of this program.

Simple Start meals

Simple Start provide meal and snack options to choose from. I plan to avoid the high carb meals.

The other area I’m concerned with is amount of high-carb whole grains, pastas and breads in many of the meal options. Yes, I’m doing Weight Watchers, but I’m also counting my carbs. Carbs trigger a rise in insulin, which in turn stores the fat in cells. Since pasta, breads and most grains are trigger foods for me, I’m avoiding them, unless I eat them right after a muscle workout.

Even then, I’m limiting my choices to steel-cut oatmeal, quinoa, bulgur or barley. No rice. And absolutely no pasta.

Indulgence Points
The only points I’ll track are the “indulgence” foods. Little things like chocolate or wine. On Simple Start you’re allowed just 7 points of indulgence foods. Any extra food I eat or if I swap out ingredients in the recipes for items not on the approved list are counted towards those 7 points.

Basically Weight Watchers took the 49 weekly allowance points and broke them up across a week.

This is a toughy!  I use regular cheese and butter on the PointsPlus plan. I’d rather spend my points on the real stuff. It helps me feel satiated. Low fat foods, loaded with carbs, don’t fill me up. A big no-no for me.

I’ll need to watch my cheese intake for the next couple of weeks.

Simple Start App
The program includes an app. While I’ve set up my log in, I haven’t explored it just yet. I begin Simple Start on Saturday so I’ll start playing with the app later in the week. I’ve got too many things to do before our trip and getting sidetracked by another app won’t help.

Initial Thoughts
After sitting through the meeting where our leader went over the new program, I must admit I had serious misgivings about it.

I get the need to make a weight loss program as easy as possible for people, but not so easy that it requires no thought.

Losing weight is hard work. If it wasn’t no one would talk about an obesity epidemic in our country.

But weight loss is 95% mental. I don’t mean will power (there is no such thing). There is a huge learning curve to losing weight. You need to know why portion control is important, recognize that not all calories are equal, and grasp why we get fat in the first place.

Tracking what you eat is a big part of that earning curve.

Since I’ve had a few days to look over the Simple Start materials, I’m a little more open to the idea.

  • It’s designed as a starter program. If it helps someone take those first steps on their weight loss journey, that’s a very good thing.
  • If you’re stuck on a plateau, this is a great little shock to the system to give your body the push it needs.
  • If you are looking for a super easy program to help you drop the pounds, I’m sure this fits the bill. But will you keep it off? Hmmmm.

I’m giving Simple Start a try. I’ll post reviews of the recipes as I go along and of the program at the end of my 2-weeks.

Who knows, Simple Start might make me a believer.

 


Cool Tool To Find Perfect Gym While On The Road

weight loss cycling, spinning class for beginners

GymVisit.com makes my search for a gym away from home a little easier.

This week we head off to Texas to spend the holidays with family. I want to keep up with my exercise routine so I’m on the hunt for a good, local gym. I want a clean gym that offers barbells, a yoga studio and spinning classes.

Enter GymVisit.com!

This is a great little tool if you are looking for a gym while you’re on the go. Not only does Gym Visit tell you what gyms are nearby, it tells you what the gym offers and how much it costs for a daily or weekly pass.

The site is crowd sourced, so the information isn’t always complete or perfect. But it makes searching a heck of a lot easier.

Are you planning to keep up with your workout while traveling for over the holidays?


I Caved And Ate Cookies

Brownies are so delicious. The one baked good I find the hardest to resist. Thankfully, I only enjoyed 3 small morsels.

Brownies are so delicious. The one baked good I find the hardest to resist. Thankfully, I only enjoyed 3 small morsels.

After 13 hours in the kitchen, I wrapped up my holiday bakeorama at 10:00 p.m. last night. I made 4-dozen fudge brownies, 6-dozen lemon ciambelle and 3-dozen pumpkin chocolate chip cookies.  Considering the amount I made, I’m actually proud I only ate 3 brownies and ¼ of a broken ciambelle.

Not too shabby. The left overs – about 7 brownies and 3 ciambelle – went into the trash. Yeah, that’s right. The trash!

The old me would have scarfed them down without hesitation. I wanted to believe I don’t do that anymore…but the temptation…so great.  My husband, sensing my weakness, tossed them out.

I love that man!

Next year, I need to work on finding recipes for healthy treats to avoid temptations.

This little lemon ciambelle is tasty but deadly. The lemon flavored sugary glaze on top is addictive. It's hard to stop at one.

This little lemon ciambelle is tasty but deadly. The lemon flavored sugary glaze on top is addictive. It’s hard to stop at one.

I did breakdown and send my husband out to get me a Five Guys burger — the best burger in the universe.

In my defense, cooking dinner was not an option in my tiny hovel of a kitchen. Yes, I should have ordered a salad. But cravings for Five Guys only comes around twice a year and I find it is best to feed the beast.

No fries (although they are killer too). Just the burger.

Today I’m doing my penance — 90 minutes of cycling and 60 minutes of yoga.


Holiday Cheer: Down 1.2 Pounds This Week

Even with the holidays, I'm still losing weight.  I need to continue with the food and exercise plan for December.

Even with the holidays, I’m still losing weight. I need to continue with the food and exercise plan for December.

Woohoo! My weight loss this holiday season continues. I dropped 1.2 pounds this week. That puts my total weight loss at 87.2 pounds.

So far this holiday season, I’ve lost 3.4 pounds and I’d love to lose 5 more to hit my revised 3-month goal. Tomorrow’s spin class can’t get here soon enough!

My Body Mass Index went from 52.5 two years ago to 38.4 today. And my makeover clothes are fitting a little looser.  Sweet!

On Monday I take new body measurements. While I love seeing smaller numbers for my hips and waist, I really want movement in my legs and arms.

Today is a great day!

 


Keeping The Weight Off By Avoiding Holiday TLC

TLC will unleash the evil Cookie Monster within.

TLC will unleash the evil Cookie Monster within.

I’m half way through the most dangerous time of the year for overeating! And for the next 2 days I’m baking lots of cookies while trying to seriously avoid a little something I like to call TLCtasting, licking, chewing.

TLC is real my friends. Try tasting one brownie and you’ll end up eating 10. Lick the mixing spoon and you’ll unleash the Cookie Monster from the ninth ring of hell.

So why invite the lion’s den into my kitchen? I love baking and don’t get to do it very often. Baking is a great stress reliever. I tend to overeat when I stress out. But when I bake, I don’t pig out on what I’m making.

…Unless I taste, lick or chew.

What awesome treats am I baking?
I actually kicked off my bakeorama early this morning with a double cherry pie. As for the cookies, I’m making the world’s best fudge brownies (oh, they are), lemon wreath cookies and pumpkin chocolate chip cookies.

I’m baking all day Saturday and Sunday morning. Sunday afternoon I’m packing and shipping all cookies.

What’s my plan while I bake the delectable treats?

  1. Eat before I start baking – reduces the risk of nibbling.
  2. My husband volunteered to serve as the designated taster!
  3. I’m using food prep gloves – once gloved, my hands never go near my mouth.
  4. Bake the brownies first – my sweet tooth doesn’t kick in until the afternoon.
  5. Track all incidences of TLC.

Plus I plan to workout both days. My knee feels great so besides yoga I thought I’d get in some 5K training on Saturday and a long walk on Sunday.  But that does leave my husband alone with the cookies.


Baked Meatballs with Sautéed Broccoli & Bok Choy

Leftovers for my hubby's lunch! This little meatball dish turned out very tasty although it is a lot of points.

Leftovers for my hubby’s lunch! This little meatball dish turned out very tasty although it is a lot of points.

I pulled this rabbit out of a hat last night. Fearing we’d had to eat out, I found a mix of beef, pork and lamb sitting in my freezer — perfect for meatballs!  I used an Atkins recipe, so it’s low carb, high in fat and protein. A mix that is not as Weight Watchers friendly as I’d like.  But if you have the points, it is very yummy.

The broccoli/bok choy dish is a modified version from Martha Stewart. I tried to make this from memory as both my iPad and iPhone were dead. Turns out I didn’t include the garlic, ginger or soy sauce. But thankfully I thought of using red pepper flakes.  Delish!

I ended up serving 1/2 of a hot-house tomato on the side — just to add a splash of color to our plate. It added a couple of carbs, but since I did my muscle workout, I had a few to spare.

Baked Meatballs with Sautéed Broccoli & Bok Choy
Net Carbs: 7
Weight Watchers PointsPlus: 13
Servings: 6 (You’ll have 2 leftover servings of the meatballs)

Meatball Ingredients

  • 1 tbsp. olive oil
  • 1/2 green onion, finely chopped
  • 3 garlic cloves, minced
  • 1/2 lbs. ground veal
  • 1/2 lbs. ground beef
  • 1/2 lbs. ground pork
  • 1/2 c grated Parmesan cheese
  • 2 eggs
  • 1/2 tsp. salt
  • 1/4 tsp. pepper

Sautéed Broccoli & Bok Choy Ingredients*

  • 1 lbs. bok choy
  • 1 lbs. broccoli
  • 1 tbsp. olive oil
  • 1 tsp sea salt (or to taste)
  • 1/2 tsp. black pepper
  • 1 tsp. red pepper flakes

Directions

  • Preheat your oven to 375 F.
  • In a skillet, heat 1 tbsp. of olive oil and add the onion, cooking onion for 5 minutes or until onion is soft. Stir frequently to prevent burning. Add in 3 cloves of minced garlic and cook for another minute.
  • Transfer the garlic and onion to a bowl and add in veal, pork, beef, cheese, eggs, salt and pepper. Mix ingredients.
  • Take pieces of the mixture and roll into golf ball size meatballs. Place meatballs in a 2-1/4″ deep roasting pan.
  • Bake for 20-25 minutes.
  • Meanwhile, cut the white stalks from the bok choy into 1-inch pieces and coarsely chop the green leaves. Keep the stalks separated from the green leaves.
  • Cut broccoli into bite size florets.
  • Using your large skillet, boil 1/2 c water. Add the broccoli and the bok choy stalks, reserving the leaves for later and cover. Simmer over medium-low until broccoli is bright green, about 5 minutes. Uncover, cook on high until remaining water evaporates, 2-4 minutes.
  • Add bok choy greens, remaining olive oil, salt, pepper and red pepper flakes and toss often, cooking for about 2 minutes.

Fell On Ice And Messed Up My Knee

dot2trot lifiting weights

My trainer eliminated the squats and lunges from my last set today to give my knee a break.

The pain in my right knee is back with abandon. During my weight training today, every squat and lunge hurt like hell. It was during the 2nd set of my routine my knee hurt so much that my poker face gave way. Deidra, my trainer, asked “What’s up?”

Time to ‘fess up.

It started exactly one week ago when I fell down the stairs at the little Love Shack I call home…Well, “fell” isn’t the right word. It was more tripping and doing the splits at the same time.

I was about 4 steps from the landing when I tripped and completely skipped those remaining stairs and landed up right on my right foot (my left leg was still firmly planted 4 steps away).

I stuck the landing, but it was a hard landing. My knee took the full force of my weight. It hurt like hell. I limped my way into the gym to meet with my trainer. We decided on just an upper body workout to rest my knee and leg.

The next day I felt fine. I kept my normal routine on Thursday and Friday – spinning and yoga classes. And I took the weekend off because my body didn’t want to do anything. But other than some minor morning stiffness (pretty normal for me), my knee felt fine.

Flash forward to this morning. I crossed paths with some black ice while walking to my car to go to the gym. I landed on my knees. The pain in my right knee was exquisite. And just like the Scott Farkus Affair, a tirade of obscenities poured out of me.

After my workout I ended up taking 800mg of Ibuprofen, elevated the knee and put it on ice (oh, sweet irony).

The swelling is down some. And it no longer hurts (that much) going downstairs.

The 5K training is out of the question for the next few days. But not spinning tomorrow? I don’t know if I can give that up. Ugh! Damn you black ice!

 


Eyeliner Is The Devil!

eyeliner

The carnage! Why is eyeliner so damn hard to put on?

Like foosball, eyeliner is the devil! I’m convinced of it. It seems like no matter what I do I ended up looking like a drunk raccoon.

Despite my make-up makeover, eyeliner stumps me.

Applying it to my lower eyelid is easy. It’s that damn upper lid. Following my eye line is impossible. I always end up with a very uneven line and no amount of smudging will help.

Well this week it’s practice, practice, practice!

I worked on my eyes for an hour yesterday, trying to master my eyeliner pencils.  Tomorrow I’m working on applying the powders.

What happens when my hands are not steady. One side is much lighter than the other.

What happens when my hands are not steady. One side is much lighter than the other.

Technique challenges
After the first 20 minutes, I realized two problems.

First, I’m trying to apply it while standing.  Hummmm…I think I need to sit down and place my elbow on the countertop. That should help steady the hand doing the deed.

My second problem, is more mental. I’m very squeamish when it comes to anything near my eyes. Heck, I can’t even wear contacts because it gives me the willies. As soon as I get the pencil close to my eye, I start the rapid blinking. I realized I had a problem when I flinched…that left a lovely line that no Q-tip could fix.

Always have the right tools!
Sitting at my desk with a new strategy in hand, I began working on my upper eyelid. Right away I notice that some eyeliner pencils go on easier than others, making a steady hand even more important.

Also, I need to invest in a sharpener. You really lose control with a dull pencil.

I started to get the hang of eyeliner about 30 minutes into my practice session.

I started to get the hang of eyeliner about an hour into my practice session.

The results?
I tried my black, blue and brown pencils. I got the best results with the brown followed closely by the blue. No matter what I did, it seemed as if the black always went on in globs. That tells me it might be the pencil and not me.

I focused on short strokes along my eyelash line while holding down my eyelid. Starting on the outside of my eye, I worked my way in towards my nose. I’m not sure if I should go all the way over or stop at mid-point.  Also, is it best for the eyeliner to go on first or last? Since I’m holding my eyelid down, shouldn’t eyeliner go on first to avoid smudging the eyeshadow?

So many questions…I’m going to need to put out an SOS to my Glam Squad.

A couple of times I went too fast and started drawing long lines with awful results.

After an hour I felt I got the hang of it. Most mistakes were tiny and something I could easily correct with a Q-tip.

Tomorrow I need to drop by Sephora for a sharpener, a good black eyeliner pencil (maybe green too!) and a slanted brush to practice with the powder.

I will master this witchcraft.

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