Following My Weight Loss Plan While Grieving

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I got the phone call during my Weight Watchers meeting.  I lost 5.2 lbs and was so proud of myself for eating right and working out.  The joy I felt stepping off the scale quickly disappeared when I discovered my father passed away earlier that morning.

He died peacefully in his sleep after returning home from two weeks in the hospital. Dad’s been ill for the last 20+ years battling congestive heart failure, Buerger’s disease, strokes, high blood pressure, diabetes and kidney failure.

For the past few years we’ve had several close calls, but like a cat with 9 lives, dad always bounced back. I tried to prepare myself for the day he wouldn’t be able to rebound. Turns out that prepping doesn’t make it any less painful.

“You want to be healthy when you’re old.”
Dad was great to talk to, especially those days where the scale was especially cruel to me.  He always made me laugh and cheered me up when I was kicking myself. During our talks, dad would always ask how the weight loss was going.  He had tons of questions about the food program I was following and the type of workouts I did during the week.  He would encourage me to keep doing what I was doing.  At the end of each call he would caution: “You don’t want what I have. You want to be healthy when you’re old.”

This Week’s Been A Bit of A Blur
I’m not tracking points. Not that I haven’t thought of it. I do. I just find that right now counting food points isn’t my thing.   I’ve been so busy helping my mother and dealing with my own grief that all I can muster is to tell myself not to over eat (or drink).

I do go out for my morning walks.  With family in town helping with the arrangements, the walks are my quiet time. I changed up my playlist to feature Motown hits and great blues tunes my dad introduced me to.  And each time as Stevie Wonder’s You Are The Sunshine of My Life plays I end up balling my eyes out.

The Game Plan
The service is today. Tomorrow I start tracking my food. My goal is to start with easy meals – keeping it as simple as possible.  I picked up some nutrition bars and shakes at the store this morning. They’re great for snacks and a nice way to get me eating 5 times a day again.

While I’m missing my weekly weigh in today, I plan to attend the local Weight Watchers near my parents’ house while I’m staying with my mother. The sooner I step on that scale, the more in control I’ll feel.

I can’t let my grieving overwhelm my weight loss efforts. Dad wouldn’t want that. 

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