Sometime during the last few months I made the decision to cut myself some slack and not worry about stepping on the scale. Since I was dealing with my cancer diagnosis, giving up on the idea of getting pregnant, surgery, radiation treatment and recovery, the last thing I needed to focus on was stepping on the scale every week.
Of course that meant I probably wasn’t as diligent with my diet as I should have been. Oh, sure, I always cooked low carb, high fat foods. But we ate out a lot and I wasn’t my diligent self. And more often than not I’d order desserts — something I never do.
I fell into the old habit of rewarding myself with food.
But I wasn’t really rewarding myself. I was feeling sorry for my lot in life. I justified those tasty sweets with the idea that it was “OK to live a little … I have cancer, after all.”
I really felt the wrath of my bad eating decisions. And I don’t mean the 10 pounds I put on.
Anytime I ate something with lots of sugar, about 8 hours later I’d get hit with hot flashes. I don’t mean feeling a little warm. It was more like my body was on fire. My nightgown, sheets, and pillow case would be damp with sweat. Next I’d start shivering and wrap myself in a quilt. Then the next hot flash would hit.
When I ate right (no sugar, very low carb, moderate protein, high fat) I’d have no hot flashes or chills. But self-pity is a pretty powerful emotion to overcome, and it took awhile for me to get over it.
Thankfully, I circled October 1 on the calendar. Deep down, I knew what I was doing was self-destructive. So I picked a specific date to jump-start my LCHF way of eating. September 30 was my follow-up appointment with my radiation oncologist. Afterward, I was done with being poked and prodded by doctors for at least 3 months. It seemed like a good point to end the pity party and move forward with my life.
That meant stepping on the scale for the first time in 3 months.
I expected weight gain … I mean some clothes were fitting a little tighter than usual. So I didn’t freak out when I saw the number. I actually expected a 20 pound gain. Expect the worse and hope for the best, right?
After I got of the scale I did a few things:
- Made my weekly menu
- Prepped food for the week after grocery shopping
- Spent 30 minutes weight lifting
Happily, I pretty quickly fell back into my good habits. Simple, but not easy. Heck, I almost didn’t blog about the weight gain. How embarrassing! Or so I thought for about an hour until I realized the pity party was starting up again.
I have major sugar cravings in the evenings. Last night, after a great day, I ended up eating a slice of apple pie. D’oh!!
That means I have to start being OK with telling myself “no” again. I know “no” seems negative, but it really isn’t. It’s shorthand of telling myself:
- “How does eating _____ help me accomplish my goals?”
- “I’d rather eat at home tonight.”
- “I feel so much better when I eat LCHF foods .”
Thanks to menopause, the weight loss will be much slower. But this really was never about the weight. Regaining my health was the drive of this 4+ year project. A big chunk of that is my ketogenic diet. It’s time to refocus on eating the foods that provide my body the energy and nutrients I need to build strength, live the life I want to live, and kick cancer’s ass.