Weekly Weigh-In: My Pity Party Is Over!

oct-1-weight

My 3 month sabbatical from stepping on the scale is over. Thanks to a lot of self-pity and too many sugary desserts, I’m up 10 pounds. Time to kick my LCHF way of eating into high gear.

Sometime during the last few months I made the decision to cut myself some slack and not worry about stepping on the scale. Since I was dealing with my cancer diagnosis, giving up on the idea of getting pregnant, surgery, radiation treatment and recovery, the last thing I needed to focus on was stepping on the scale every week.

Of course that meant I probably wasn’t as diligent with my diet as I should have been. Oh, sure, I always cooked low carb, high fat foods. But we ate out a lot and I wasn’t my diligent self. And more often than not I’d order desserts — something I never do.

I fell into the old habit of rewarding myself with food.

But I wasn’t really rewarding myself. I was feeling sorry for my lot in life. I justified those tasty sweets with the idea that it was “OK to live a little … I have cancer, after all.”

Ugh!

I really felt the wrath of my bad eating decisions. And I don’t mean the 10 pounds I put on.

Anytime I ate something with lots of sugar, about 8 hours later I’d get hit with hot flashes. I don’t mean feeling a little warm. It was more like my body was on fire. My nightgown, sheets, and pillow case would be damp with sweat. Next I’d start shivering and wrap myself in a quilt. Then the next hot flash would hit.

When I ate right (no sugar, very low carb, moderate protein, high fat) I’d have no hot flashes or chills. But self-pity is a pretty powerful emotion to overcome, and it took awhile for me to get over it.

Thankfully, I circled October 1 on the calendar. Deep down, I knew what I was doing was self-destructive. So I picked a specific date to jump-start my LCHF way of eating. September 30 was my follow-up appointment with my radiation oncologist. Afterward, I was done with being poked and prodded by doctors for at least 3 months. It seemed like a good point to end the pity party and move forward with my life.

That meant stepping on the scale for the first time in 3 months.

I expected weight gain … I mean some clothes were fitting a little tighter than usual. So I didn’t freak out when I saw the number. I actually expected a 20 pound gain. Expect the worse and hope for the best, right?

After I got of the scale I did a few things:

  1. Made my weekly menu
  2. Prepped food for the week after grocery shopping
  3. Spent 30 minutes weight lifting

Happily, I pretty quickly fell back into my good habits. Simple, but not easy. Heck, I almost didn’t blog about the weight gain. How embarrassing! Or so I thought for about an hour until I realized the pity party was starting up again.

I have major sugar cravings in the evenings. Last night, after a great day, I ended up eating a slice of apple pie.  D’oh!!

That means I have to start being OK with telling myself “no” again. I know “no” seems negative, but it really isn’t. It’s shorthand of telling myself:

  • “How does eating _____ help me accomplish my goals?”
  • “I’d rather eat at home tonight.”
  • “I feel so much better when I eat LCHF foods .”

Thanks to menopause, the weight loss will be much slower. But this really was never about the weight. Regaining my health was the drive of this 4+ year project. A big chunk of that is my ketogenic diet. It’s time to refocus on eating the foods that provide my body the energy and nutrients I need to build strength, live the life I want to live, and kick cancer’s ass.

 

 

 

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